I can’t even begin to explain how it feels to hear the words that someone you love so dearly has Cancer. There is no right time, no easy way, no delicate response, it’s just a fucking vile thing to hear! The word itself holds so much weight. I’ts such a scary agressive word!
I was busy planning my wedding in the July. It sort of takes over, the table plans, church readings, who will look after Noah? My brother was home for a little visit in May for his best mates Stag Do. He lives 300 miles away in Edinburgh and any chance to see him is always snapped up so he came to see us for a couple of days before going off on the stag!
We had a nice afternoon together with my son and then my mum took Noah to get ready for bed and it was just me, my hubby to be and my bro and in hindsight when i think back to moments leading up to this point i realise how weird some were including my brothers impatient desire for Michael (my hubby to be) to arrive from work.
His words were something along the lines of “I’ve got something to tell you, i might not be able to come to the wedding” and in the next few seconds i hated him, what possible reason could he have for not coming to the wedding, how selfish was he?! Then i realised by the look on his face and burst into tears. “Like Dad?” I said and he nodded then said the words “But a lot worse”